how to not run away from the ones that love you?
Photo via: Milan madhjamakaI’ve been with him for just over a year. I’m a runner by nature. As in, when things start to get serious, when they start to feel permanent, Ileave the man I am with. This is one is pretty much perfect. Kind,considerate, handsome, affectionate, generous, head over heels in lovewith me. So in love with me, that it scares me. How can he get soinvested? He says he wants to build his life around me. The thought scaresme. I am down to earth, practical, a career first kind of girl. I wantedto build my life around a place, a job, a career. Once all that wassettled, I figured I would meet someone and fall in love and maybe evensettle down. But love happened first. And now I am unsure whether to keepit. Unsure because the longer I am with him, the more in love with me heis, and all the while I am not sure if I will stay here. Maybe I’lltravel, maybe I’ll go to grad school, maybe I’ll take a job across thecontinent or even the world. I am unsure if he fits into those plans ornot. And because I’m afraid, because he is blameless, I have startedpicking little fights, being stand-offish, secretly hoping to send himover the edge and force him to break up with me, because I’m too cowardlyto be the bad guy. But I can’t push him away like the others, he seesthrough it, and holds tight. It fills me with happiness and breaks myheart all at the same time.So to the people that are like me, and run away when they get scared ofthe intensity of their feelings or the feelings of the one they’re with,what do I do? Did you regret running away? Or was it better for you in thelong run, and less hurtful to the person you left?To the people that got left behind, do you wish he or she had stayed? Orwas leaving you the best thing they ever did for you in the end?I just want to put it out there that it’s not that I feel I don’t deserveto be loved. I’m just not sure if this is the time or place to be in sodeep. I am afraid how madly and selflessly he loves me. It’s like I’m hisair or something. It’s frightening, but thrilling. But can you love too much?
love two people
Photos via: Stylecaster“If you love two people at the same time, choose the second. Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second.” -- Johnny Depp--I think it's possible to love more than one person at a time, so this doesn't ring true for me. How do you guys feel about this quote?
i am scared
Photo via: Mafalda SilvaI have always loved you, and you know that.Ever since I was fifteen years old, when we laid under the trees, learning and growing in love. I have tried to let you go and find someone that moves me more than you, but no one can beat the way you make me feel. Being around you lifts me up - not only do I feel fifteen again, but you make me feel like I couldn’t be anyone better but the person I am when I am with you.You live there, and I live here, which is why it has never worked. I would have followed you always, and you knew that, but only now are you telling me you want me to. I am scared.I’m scared of how much I love you, I am scared that you aren’t the person I am in love with, I am scared you don’t love me as much as I love you, I am scared you are going to hurt me again, and I am scared of what it means to be trying with you.I wish we could go back under the trees when we were fifteen, I wish life wasn’t complicated, I wish we could fall into sweet, all-consuming love and I wouldn’t be scared of the past nine years and how much you can move me.You are heaven - I see my whole life with you.But are you simply a fantasy? Maybe that’s why I am scared.
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