Bleak House readalong: THE GRAND FINALE
I totally read this last Monday night, after I scheduled last week's post. WHAT A PAGE-TURNER, YOU GUYS? I feel like that sounds facetious, but I barely breathed through the entire scene where Esther is chasing Lady Dedlock.(Although Bucket's repeated 'You trust that I got a motive?' made me punchy. I GET what you are doing, dramatic tension-wise, Dickens, it's just that it's douchey and obvious and there's literally no reason for Bucket not to tell Esther what he suspects, because she's already in distress over the thought of leaving her mother, and if the lady ends up not being her, she's no worse off.)(Also, I sort of figured LD would be dead because Rules of Victorian Literature dictate that if you have sex out of wedlock, you die. Because justice, amirite? Ugh, I am so embarrassed by you sometimes, 19th century.)'A person of the name of Michael Jackson, with a blue welveteen waistcoat with a double row of mother of pearl buttons.' We all saw this, right? Alright.Needs another row of buttons.I am desperately sad for Sir Leicester, who will never again see his much beloved NOR EVEN GET TO OFFER HER HIS FORGIVENESS. It breaks my heart in the best way how he was immediately like, FIND HER AND SAY ALL IS FORGOTTEN, like, he didn't even take the well-deserved chance to sulk over it and maybe score himself some guilt-ridden sexual favors. And then Volumnia tip-toeing all around, peeping on him and whispering, 'He is asleep' to herself, 'in disproof of which superfluous remark Sir Leicester has indignantly written on the slate, "I am not."'A little something to break up the weepies I'm having.Esther goes to see Mr Skimpole and try to delicately persuade him to stop sucking, and I am like, srsly tho, and she is like, I know I'm basically rolling a boulder up a hill, here, and I am like, AS LONG AS YOU'RE AWARE, and then 'As it so happened that I never saw Mr Skimpole again...'Seriously, though. So excited.Oh no wait, one more thing: 'Jarndyce, is common with most other men I have known, is the incarnation of selfishness.'Woodcourt loves Esther, we are all triumphant because like that's going to go unrequited, Esther is very noble about it even though *I* would be looking for a way out of my Jarndyce-engagement immediately. Especially when Mr J is like, 'the old dream I sometimes dreamed when you were VERY YOUNG [emphasis mine], of making you my wife one day.'This was the first time I was grossed out by their relationship, but I was VERY grossed out.Mr George goes to see his brother, expecting censure and receiving FONDNESS and his 'How do you do, my dear old fellow. I never could have thought you would have been half so glad to see me as all this. How do you do, my dear old fellow, how do you do!'Mr Guppy's mother hollering at Esther and Jarndyce to get out of their own house because she's all indignant about Esther not wanting to take up with her son. 'Why don't you get out?...What are you stopping here for?' I am laughing so hard right now.The J&J suit comes to an end with no one getting anything, Woodcourt predicts that it will 'break Richard's heart,' I am like, GOOD, Richard totally and unexpectedly dies, I am like VERY GOOD I APPROVE HEARTILY.I mean, with all the tragic deaths in this book, at least Dickens got ONE of them right.Bleak House comes to a close, Ada is free, Esther and Woodhouse are married but little Richard 'has two mamas' and I think we all know what that means.Once again, it's been delightful giffing my way through a classic with you ladies. I can think of no one elses I'd rather hate on Skimpole with.Mr George 4 ever, p.s.
Bleak House readalong
I almost read past the deadline this week because THINGS ARE COMING TO A HEAD.Oh Mr Bucket, with your unctuousness and geniality and your desire to check people's yards for escape routes and your interest in Mr George's boots, you are a suspicious fellow.Speaking of Mr GeorgeI was trying to find a funny gif of someone being clapped into handcuffs but then I found this and THEN I fell into a rabbit hole of Sherlock gifs and I only just got out. HOWEVER, I get a little bothered over Mr George and Mr Cumberbatch both, so SORT OF RELEVANT. Also the handcuffs. I sort of figured he didn't do it, and I hoped some sense of Victorian literary justice wouldn't let an innocent man be wrongly convicted, but Dickens is always killing off innocent orphans, so. Sidebar: I swear, Charles, if Baby Esther Jellyby Turveydrop dies...Ok, I'll be honest that I haven't really liked Woodcourt up to this point. I mean, he's FINE. He's no Mr George, but I see where Dickens is going and yes, ok. But then Mr Vholes gets all up on him with his unnecessary crypticism, all, I tell you nothing about Mr C's business, etc, and Woodcourt is like, 'You seem to forget...that I ask you to say nothing and have no interest in anything you say.' Which is Victorian for:I'm trying to avoid talking about Esther, kissing Ada and laughing and running away like, Ha ha, oh you, all married and such, and then CRYING AND CRYING because now they can never be together. I can't believe Ada married Richard. I mean, I knew they were going to eventually, but I figured it'd happen later after Richard stopped being such a dick and Mr Jarndyce gave his blessing and all. Also, is it weird that it didn't even occur to me to be grossed out by Mr J and Esther? I just read that marriage proposal and registered the age differences and went, Yep, 19th century, and then read WITH SURPRISE everyone else's appalled and indignant posts.Oh, hahaha, can we take a moment to discuss Esther creeping back to listen in on Ada and Richard, and hearing 'the murmur of their young voices,' and I am like, THEY ARE NEWLYWEDS WHO HAVE BEEN LIVING SEPARATE UNTIL JUST RIGHT NOW. Get your ear out of there, E, before you hear something offends your maidenly sensibilities.We come at last to some Big Reveals, and I WILL ADMIT that when Mr George is like, 'I saw a shape so like Miss Summerson's go by me in the dark,' I was like,so you got me, Charles. WAY TO LAY THOSE FALSE CLUES. And the whole scene with Sir Leicester I still thought Lady D was the culprit. When he was all, 'If it were my brother who had committed [the crime], I would not spare him,' I was like WATCH YO MOUTH BECAUSE YOU WILL REGRET THIS SHIT.But it is Hortense, and the more she's on-screen, the more I enjoy her. Kills Tulkinghorn, yes! Says things like, 'Is it that you have almost all finished, or are you speaking always?' This is my new go-to argument-ender.For when this doesn't work.I am scheduling this post and getting immediately back into the reading because omg.
Bleak House Readalong: Super Late Edition
I wasn't going to post on last week's Bleakalong because I am so tardy, but then I was reading the assigned section and Mr Jarndyce asked Esther to marry him andso here we are with some brief thoughts:I want Esther to marry Mr Woodcourt but I want Mr Jarndyce to not have his feelings hurt MORE than I want that first thing so I hope he's just offering out of sympathy or practicality (because we all know Dick-chard and Ada are going to get married eventually, and then Esther and Mr J will be LIVING IN SIN and he has clearly thought of this).Also, I like how Mr J preps her by being like, I have something to write to you, but I won't write it until you can promise you won't think weirdly of me, and even though that is cryptic and mysterious and vague on purpose Esther is like, This is a totally unweird situation to be happening. VICTORIANS YOU GUYS WERE SO WEIRD.Not this weird, but weird.In lesser news, the one painting 'with large round eyes (and other charms to correspond).' LOL YOU MEAN BEWBS DON'T YOU CHARLES.Hortense goes to Tulkinghorn with threats and he is all, 'Think twice before you come here again,' and she is like, 'Think you...twice two hundred times!' Ah, the French. Always trying to one-up you.I will out-bonjour ALL these bitches.'Mr Vhole put his dead glove, which scarcely seemed to have any hand in it, on my fingers.' CHARLES YOU OCCASIONALLY KILL ME WITH YOUR DESCRIPTORING.The bit about Jo not being a foreigner or dirty heathen, 'not softened by distance and unfamiliarity,' and so no one cares that he's starving and sick, that bit is not subtle but it is TRUTHY. Also?No one can move you on any longer, Jo.This section ends with Tulkinghorn 'shot through the heart,' which I totally did not expect. Things are getting very Game of Thrones-y up in here.Except Esther and Ada, and probably Richard (though I still have hopes). Mr J is likely safe, too.
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